If you could time travel to the past would you fix your mistakes even knowing those choices from who you are? I began today by pressing play on the frozen components of my life by removing what didn't suffice. Each year I question aspects of life from relationships to nostalgia and even the matrix of life. With the invention of social media, people have become tethered to the ideals of superficial relationships. Why do we befriend people we've known once within our life but will never talk to again? We peer into other's lives out of pure curiosity without the intention of a fruitful explanation. For the past five years, I've been chasing fleeting images because the presents of progression haven't interested me as much as in the past. The nostalgia of the past is always on my mind ever since the loss of my father. Although the present is better than the past I long for the naive nature of younger youth. Often I live in the memories of the past reflecting on times before the loss of family and interwoven relationships. I feel like when Neo when he chooses the red pill, learned the truth about reality. If only I could experience the red pill once more before all truths were discovered. the truths about the pain of death, losing a best friend, and divorce. Although your all the better knowing the truth those first feelings before knowing the truth will never be felt again as the first time. If only we could capture the carefree nature of youth once more, if once more then what? would you be happier, more accomplished, even more talented? I wrestle and wrestle more with myself until finally, I conclude that none of it matters. Yes, I would feel carefree once again but none of it matters standing still. Those who have died taught me that life is fleeting and not to take it for granted. The friends who were lost showed where they stood within our relationship just as cutting the tethers of an unfaithful husband. I can be just as hollow as the subjects portrayed within my artworks but climbing out of the emptiness is the true journey. Hollowness results from emptiness when moments of the present are negated. Everything in life is created, evolves, and ceases to exist. Knowing what you know if you could would you time travel to relive all the before moments to be blissfully naive once more just to feel that same nostalgia?
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